"The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living"
Marcus Tulliuis Cicaro
Memories of the past, of loved ones who are no longer with us, every loss bears a duel. When we remember our deceased loved ones we focus on the past and think about the past, we long for what we have lost and the idea that there is no turning back is difficult to fit.
But they do not have to be focused on "what is gone and what is missing" but on the teachings and experiences that we share with that person, the times we laugh together. Learn to enjoy the deceased person. Remember, it enlivens feelings and emotions and we can get to experience emotions identical to those experienced in the real situation. So try to throw wood so that the memories are endearing, even funny, instead of sad.
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